On this day like any other...Part 3
This was probably the best Valentines day that I have had in years. Low Key. No heartaches on my mind ('cept maybe the few little tinges of thinking of past Valentine's days) and a general bounce in my step.
Yes things are coming up Tommy.
I was told this evening, by my date, that I don't take as much joy in holidays as I should. I had never really thought that. I suppose that may take years of work to undo.
Most holidays are of a religious sort. I am not a very religious man. Even those with religious connotations have been de-mystified to the point that the religious and spiritual aspects are buried underneath mounds of commercialism. I defy anyone to tell me that Christmas doesn't seem to be one long Super Bowl commercial, or that the Cadbury bunny doesn't seem the bigger part of Easter than the fact that it is the day that created ALL Christian religions.
Religion is on my mind and always at the heart of the matter. I grew up son of a former nun and was taught to take stock in god, and Jesus everyday. It didn't matter that it usually brought me little gratification, or that I really never believed that someone could rise from the dead, or much less, be born to a woman who never had sex.
CANNOT HAPPEN.
Joseph most definitely porked the supposed Virgin Mary. Whether he was Jesus' father or not, he most definitely porked her. and somebody porked her to make Jesus.
And you know what?
There is nothing wrong with that. She was doing what she was created to do. I have no problem with Mary having sex and then having a baby from that sex and he going on to be the most influential person in the history of the world. He could have been conceived doggie style and that is okay too.
At my Uncle Bruce's funeral, one of my Aunt's made a comment about my young cousin Sean becoming a Priest. Kid is like 10 years old. My reply? "Is he gay?" This seriously offended my Aunt and she said he is not. She also accused me of being a homophobic. Which I also am not. My cousin Chad is gay, out and one of the coolest guys you're going to meet. friendly and affable. I just happen to think that if you are gay, and therefore imbued with a deep self hate by a religion that tells you that what you feel is wrong, then fuck it, become a Priest. Then, nobody will question why you are not married, not bagging chicks, or don't have a girlfriend.
My cousin Steve is the most non-gay looking guy you will ever meet, but people are asking his mom if he is, because he not married at 35. Perhaps the problem is not that he craves cock over wang-dang-sweet pootang, but that he doesn't want to get married.
Me, I would probably tell him that he ought to try some cock if he can't find a girl he likes...but only because I like to fuck with him.
In the church during his dad's funeral, I found myself thinking about the priests. What would cause someone to want to do that? I thought of a few reasons.
One-They are gay and can't admit that to their Catholic families.
Two-The are failed rock stars and megalomaniacs who need a captive audience to give them the spotlight that they so richly deserve.
Three-they thought it would be cool to go against their very nature and the apply very bizarre "no sex for priests rule" to their lives. Somebody tell me why priests can't marry please.
With that said, I still find that in my moments of need, I fall back to thinking of a god I don't really believe in and hoping that he will help me find a parking space close to the door of the Harris Teeter, so I won't have to push my grocery cart very far.
My Aunt Noreen (I have 6 Aunts on my mom's side) asked me why I wasn't saying the Hail Mary during the ceremonies for my Grandma. She asked if I forgot it. Mind you, this was in reference to the Rosary, a Catholic ritual where you cram as many prayers into a short period of time as possible while running your hands over beads much like those thrown at Mardi Gras parades. Almost as much fun except nobody shows you their tits.
I decided to pray out loud with my family for the first time in about 15 years. More to support them than for any deep beliefs that I have. It hurts nothing, and like very few rock and roll songs, I know all the words, so why the fuck not.
So St. Valentine you must have buddied up St Jude for me this past year. Thanks, things have worked out well. For you I offer this up.
Hail Mary, full of grace
thanks a lot for having a kid
while I believe you had sex
lots of people believe that an angel mystically inseminated you through your ear
and I respect that
thanks for raising a pretty cool son
he has made a lot of people's lives better
and though he would probably be sad to hear of the hurt that has been done in his name
you did a damn fine job
I hope this message finds you well
and...if you had anything to do with it, thanks for sending love my way
please send some to everyone else
and help Eric Mangini lead the Jets to a Super Bowl Victory
Now and at the hour of our death
Amen.
Yes things are coming up Tommy.
I was told this evening, by my date, that I don't take as much joy in holidays as I should. I had never really thought that. I suppose that may take years of work to undo.
Most holidays are of a religious sort. I am not a very religious man. Even those with religious connotations have been de-mystified to the point that the religious and spiritual aspects are buried underneath mounds of commercialism. I defy anyone to tell me that Christmas doesn't seem to be one long Super Bowl commercial, or that the Cadbury bunny doesn't seem the bigger part of Easter than the fact that it is the day that created ALL Christian religions.
Religion is on my mind and always at the heart of the matter. I grew up son of a former nun and was taught to take stock in god, and Jesus everyday. It didn't matter that it usually brought me little gratification, or that I really never believed that someone could rise from the dead, or much less, be born to a woman who never had sex.
CANNOT HAPPEN.
Joseph most definitely porked the supposed Virgin Mary. Whether he was Jesus' father or not, he most definitely porked her. and somebody porked her to make Jesus.
And you know what?
There is nothing wrong with that. She was doing what she was created to do. I have no problem with Mary having sex and then having a baby from that sex and he going on to be the most influential person in the history of the world. He could have been conceived doggie style and that is okay too.
At my Uncle Bruce's funeral, one of my Aunt's made a comment about my young cousin Sean becoming a Priest. Kid is like 10 years old. My reply? "Is he gay?" This seriously offended my Aunt and she said he is not. She also accused me of being a homophobic. Which I also am not. My cousin Chad is gay, out and one of the coolest guys you're going to meet. friendly and affable. I just happen to think that if you are gay, and therefore imbued with a deep self hate by a religion that tells you that what you feel is wrong, then fuck it, become a Priest. Then, nobody will question why you are not married, not bagging chicks, or don't have a girlfriend.
My cousin Steve is the most non-gay looking guy you will ever meet, but people are asking his mom if he is, because he not married at 35. Perhaps the problem is not that he craves cock over wang-dang-sweet pootang, but that he doesn't want to get married.
Me, I would probably tell him that he ought to try some cock if he can't find a girl he likes...but only because I like to fuck with him.
In the church during his dad's funeral, I found myself thinking about the priests. What would cause someone to want to do that? I thought of a few reasons.
One-They are gay and can't admit that to their Catholic families.
Two-The are failed rock stars and megalomaniacs who need a captive audience to give them the spotlight that they so richly deserve.
Three-they thought it would be cool to go against their very nature and the apply very bizarre "no sex for priests rule" to their lives. Somebody tell me why priests can't marry please.
With that said, I still find that in my moments of need, I fall back to thinking of a god I don't really believe in and hoping that he will help me find a parking space close to the door of the Harris Teeter, so I won't have to push my grocery cart very far.
My Aunt Noreen (I have 6 Aunts on my mom's side) asked me why I wasn't saying the Hail Mary during the ceremonies for my Grandma. She asked if I forgot it. Mind you, this was in reference to the Rosary, a Catholic ritual where you cram as many prayers into a short period of time as possible while running your hands over beads much like those thrown at Mardi Gras parades. Almost as much fun except nobody shows you their tits.
I decided to pray out loud with my family for the first time in about 15 years. More to support them than for any deep beliefs that I have. It hurts nothing, and like very few rock and roll songs, I know all the words, so why the fuck not.
So St. Valentine you must have buddied up St Jude for me this past year. Thanks, things have worked out well. For you I offer this up.
Hail Mary, full of grace
thanks a lot for having a kid
while I believe you had sex
lots of people believe that an angel mystically inseminated you through your ear
and I respect that
thanks for raising a pretty cool son
he has made a lot of people's lives better
and though he would probably be sad to hear of the hurt that has been done in his name
you did a damn fine job
I hope this message finds you well
and...if you had anything to do with it, thanks for sending love my way
please send some to everyone else
and help Eric Mangini lead the Jets to a Super Bowl Victory
Now and at the hour of our death
Amen.
posted by TD at 12:33 AM
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