Half of the time we're gone and we don't know where
Well, I have been trying to keep my blogging positive. Today I don't think I can. It's twelve o'clock and I can't sleep. I had a rough day. Still not eating very well, not sleeping very well, and drinking and smoking waaaaaay too much. I guess that goes with the territory.
Last night was fun. I went out with Joe. Hadn't seen him in a while. Hilarious night actually. Went to two club/bars. Had a laugh riot. Joe was trying to talk me into not going to North Carolina. He said that what I needed was to hook up with a woman for the night, join the band again and stay. I declined both offers but laughed alot and appreciated the intent.He's not a big fan of this move! Joe is the best.All in all it was a cool time. I got to have too many drinks, saw some really old friends and even got to dance a little bit.
At about 3 a.m. We decided to get a cab and go home. Well, it was more like me being at that point where I looked over at him and said, in a weak, drunken and defeated voice, "I gotta go" We were both trashed. So we stumbled down 6th Ave till we got to Houston St. When we finally hailed a cab, the cabbie wanted no part of driving back to Queens. hahaha. Joe just kept saying "1L95" (the guy's car number) everytime he would say anything about how he couldn't go to Queens. It was hilarious. We finally got out and got another cab.
I've been thinking alot about my life these last few days. I guess the fact that I am moving so far away has alot to do with it. With all of the changes in my life the last year I guess that love is the biggest topic on my mind. I just don't understand it at all. I have realized, that in spite of my history, I can be a very selfless person. Someday soon that is going to pay off.
This year has taught me a lot about love. What it means. The things that I want and what it takes to let things go. On letting things go, that doesn't just apply to love, but to my famous grudge holding techniques. It's not worth it. I still feel that you need to cut off the people who are unhealthy for you, but you can't be filled with hate.
People have told me recently about a lot of good qualities that I have. That feels good, because I often don't recognizer them myself. I need to remember that as I go down to Raleigh.
So today was really rough. I guess that's why I am blogging at 12:30 a.m. Needed to get this stuff out. I listened to my favorite depression song. "The Only Living boy in New York" by Simon and Garfunkel. I was feeling very alone and have been.
Man. Sorry for the downer folks. Hey, on to music! Much more fun than heartache and bad feelings. I am slowly remembering how important music is to me and how it is always the soundtrack to my life. I've been writing alot lately and listening to that much more.
Songs from last night:
I Don't Like The Drugs,But the Drugs Like Me
Highway to Hell
I Want You To Want Me
Twentieth Century Boy
Panama
Carolina
Well, if anyone has gotten this far, and didn't bail out on the depressing nature of this post, then thanks. What are your favorite songs and who, or what, do they remind you of? Good or bad.
Phrases/word for the day
Anomaly
You're not the average Bear
Fuck em'
Last night was fun. I went out with Joe. Hadn't seen him in a while. Hilarious night actually. Went to two club/bars. Had a laugh riot. Joe was trying to talk me into not going to North Carolina. He said that what I needed was to hook up with a woman for the night, join the band again and stay. I declined both offers but laughed alot and appreciated the intent.He's not a big fan of this move! Joe is the best.All in all it was a cool time. I got to have too many drinks, saw some really old friends and even got to dance a little bit.
At about 3 a.m. We decided to get a cab and go home. Well, it was more like me being at that point where I looked over at him and said, in a weak, drunken and defeated voice, "I gotta go" We were both trashed. So we stumbled down 6th Ave till we got to Houston St. When we finally hailed a cab, the cabbie wanted no part of driving back to Queens. hahaha. Joe just kept saying "1L95" (the guy's car number) everytime he would say anything about how he couldn't go to Queens. It was hilarious. We finally got out and got another cab.
I've been thinking alot about my life these last few days. I guess the fact that I am moving so far away has alot to do with it. With all of the changes in my life the last year I guess that love is the biggest topic on my mind. I just don't understand it at all. I have realized, that in spite of my history, I can be a very selfless person. Someday soon that is going to pay off.
This year has taught me a lot about love. What it means. The things that I want and what it takes to let things go. On letting things go, that doesn't just apply to love, but to my famous grudge holding techniques. It's not worth it. I still feel that you need to cut off the people who are unhealthy for you, but you can't be filled with hate.
People have told me recently about a lot of good qualities that I have. That feels good, because I often don't recognizer them myself. I need to remember that as I go down to Raleigh.
So today was really rough. I guess that's why I am blogging at 12:30 a.m. Needed to get this stuff out. I listened to my favorite depression song. "The Only Living boy in New York" by Simon and Garfunkel. I was feeling very alone and have been.
Man. Sorry for the downer folks. Hey, on to music! Much more fun than heartache and bad feelings. I am slowly remembering how important music is to me and how it is always the soundtrack to my life. I've been writing alot lately and listening to that much more.
Songs from last night:
I Don't Like The Drugs,But the Drugs Like Me
Highway to Hell
I Want You To Want Me
Twentieth Century Boy
Panama
Carolina
Well, if anyone has gotten this far, and didn't bail out on the depressing nature of this post, then thanks. What are your favorite songs and who, or what, do they remind you of? Good or bad.
Phrases/word for the day
Anomaly
You're not the average Bear
Fuck em'
posted by TD at 12:00 AM
2 Comments:
Hey man no need to worry about a downer post. We all have those days. You are just choosing to share with us. Which is pretty good because then you get it out of you. Things are always better when you have someone to talk to.
Favorite song that gets me through hard time:
Hold On, by Sarah McLachlan
Favorite song when thinking about people I love or any matter of the the heart:
Somebody, Depeche Mode
Thanks Kel! I knew about you and "Somebody". We listened to that more than once together at some of those old parties at my place. Wow. You know, that song always reminds me of you. That and "I Need You".
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