Leave poor Barry alone!

In secret grand jury testimony the following was revealed about Barry Bonds...

• Barry has never once knowingly ingested any performance enhancing drugs while inderwater in the Antarctic
• Mr. Bonds had expressed, beyond any doubt, that he never once took steroids while singing Sinatra tunes at his grandmothers house when he was doing one handed pushups
• The fact that he once accidently shot his youngest child into the stratosphere by flexing his biceps had nothing to do with steroids...it could happen to any of us and he resents the insinuation
• When his trainer was giving him pills and creams, he thought they were for hair loss. The whole mishap was a premptive bald strike.
• Mr Bonds claims that his Hulk like body mass growth and the fact that he now glows neon like algae off the coast of Puerto Rico has nothing to do with steroids, but everything to do with being touched by the power of the lord.
  
• He does not come from the planet Krypton, though he is planning on fighting for truth, justice and the american way...as soon as he shatters every basball record ever and makes 3 trillion dollars
• Contrary to popular belief, Barry does not want kill all inteligent baseball fans to protect his secret

Lets all leave poor Barry alone already!