On this day like any other

(Updated:Just to let you know, I wrote the following because it didn't seem that I would have the video today. I have since recieved the video and am going to post it at the end of this post later today)

Well, unfortunately, I could not successfully upload the special Valentines day video in time for this morning. So those of you who, not completely disappointed in my dynamic display of technological ineptitude can continue to read on, the rest of you, Happy Valentines Day.........

Valentines Day. What does it mean? Apparently some fucker (St. Valentine) got killed for some shit and he was sending notes to someone. Big fucking deal. There is no holiday for a saint who shat often! St. Crapsalot Day!Believe you me, unlike love, that is satisfying EVERY TIME, except for after jalepeno laced burritos and Negro Modelo night at the Happy Taco Garden, in which case it might burn a little (also like love, to continue the analogy). I'm sure we singles could get Charmin to back this one if we put our minds to it. Hallmark is all about this letter writing fuckface cockburger who died in two hundred sixty nine A fucking D!

Maybe, as a single person I should go to a nice restaurant tomorrow. Get myself some flowers, a nice bottle of wine. You know? Really wine and dine me and turn on the charm. "What will you be having this evening sir?" my cheery not been kicked in the ass by life waitress will say. I will then look at my young, innocent 20-something waitress and say...

"I know what I'll be having with my bitterness, yeah.I bet you have dreams don't you? I had dreams at one time. They were wonderful and filled with buttercups and warm sunny days. That time was called my twenties, and those dreams? Dead! Dead as Mel Torme and the lady from Throw Mama From the Train. Oooooooh, I was twenty once. Now I know better. I'm thirty three. Life has kicked me in the balls more than once. Each and every time I feel like I am going to puke. Do you know what that tastes like? Your own vomit? It tastes like relationship. You wanna know what love tastes like? Why don't you go ahead and plunge your hand into my chest and rip out my heart Indiana Jones style? We'll get all these happy, let's look at each other like we are having dinner in a nice European restaurant, I am so in love on this day only when I am going to forget about all the shit you do that pisses me off and keeps me from really expressing any love for you the rest of the year mother fuckers to chant "Kali Ma!!!" while you take a big bite out of my heart like so many other people have in the past. If you are not prepared to go that far,then why don't you just STEP OFF CUPCAKE!!!"

"Oh, I would also like the Foi Gras, the Casolette with a bottle of the '01 cab and Creme Brule for dessert. Thanks"

I have decided that I am going to start promoting Fuck-you -fuckers day on February 13th. We could even have a fuck you fuckers picnic. We could have music. Love hurts, Love Stinks and What it Takes could be in heavy rotation. Since it will all be singles maybe we could get the drinks flowing early and the lights low later and all get busy. We could dirty dance. Real dirty dancing. Not run down the aisle and lift each other into the air ala' Jennifer Grey while Bill Meldley sings in the background. Maybe we will all walk out of there with a partner to love for a lifetime that evening.

Me? I won't be attending, but I will do the legwork. What is it that I want? Not just another piece. I don't think any of us just want another piece. Some of us fall into love like a drug. It's the best drug. The one that we would all smack a million veins for. We get off of our high, and then we crash, or we just try to find another supplier real quick once our regular source is gone. We wait a month, maybe two. Then we meet someone. We go out take the time and then voila, back on the superhighway to relationshipville, yet we have totally missed the most important thing. The relationship with ourselves. Plus, half of the love junkies still think about the old highs all the time.

I'm going to be home during any singles events, sitting maxin' relaxin all cool. Watching something on television like fucking pairs figure skating or some other non-sport.

Bottom line is. Fuck this day. It's like any other. Serves to hurt the people who deserve to be happiest and is a bullshit excuse for those in unhappy relationships to express love.

Those of you who have that moment, have that feeling of laying next to the person you love, I applaud you. Remember the smell of their skin, trace the lines of their body with your mind, feel the movement of their breath against you and embrace the moment. Do that every day. Give your lover a movie star kiss when you see them. Take a moment to find out, really find out, how their day was. Make a meal together and tell your lover a silly joke. Make them laugh. Run like children, be goofy, scream at the stars and sigh at the dawn and dance in the middle of the street like nobody else exists. Look into each others eyes and remove all of your walls all your fears. KNOW the person you are with and don't be afraid to tough it out. It is worth it.

For the rest of us there is Blockbuster, internet porn and old friend alcohol
(sweet, sweet let you forget all the problems alcohol), until we join the happy assholes right? Maybe not.

For years I have said the following. When you're in a relationship, you think "Man... if I was single I would be getting it all the time". When you are single you think "Man... if I were in a relationship, I'd be getting it all the time." Not that sex is any great barometer of love, I just think the analogy works this time for my needs.

Point is the grass is always greener. Mow your lawn on this day......just like any other.

And finally, here it is. A video message that all singles out there can appreciate for Valentines day. I dug deep for this one. Trying to tap in to the core of what love can feel like. I hope you like my voice....I really belted this one out.