Blue & Gold wheat thins and a retraction
I made this entry the other day and never posted it. I really thought about not posting it. Not one of my finer moments. Funny though. Nicole said she did not remember any of this. Though, she wasn't there. I was shocked either way.
Now for a disclaimer- Lisa Thomas claims that she didn't have a drinking problem at this time. Mike, Craig, myself and John, along with Allison had major issues. She was only being social and coming along to make sure that we could all get cabs home and didn't get hurt. Thank you lisa and I apologize for the error.
Without further ado......Crackers in my undies
After 9/11 all of my friends and I went on a drinking and smoking binge the likes of which mankind had never seen before. All of us! Mike, Jo-Jo, Lisa, Allison, Craiggles,Azima, an I were out almost every night of the week. We rested on Sat and Sun. Well, at least from partying with each other, and that wasn't always true. Sometimes we met up on Sat.
We found a new bar on 7th street in the East Village, well, it wasn't new to the neighborhood. It was new to us. It was called the Blue&Gold. We went in because it had a pool table. Our first night there we stayed from after work until nearly 4 am. WE got Fuuuuuuuuuucked up. All of us. Shit-faced, Blotto like Otto, Three Sheets, F.U.B.A.R. !
Shots. Mixed drinks.Large amounts of beer. I think lisa fell asleep at the table. WEll, that could have been one of many times that we went out during that period. It all kind of blended together after a while. Sorta like my twenties when I was dating Mary Jane and drinking tea all the time.
At 4 we got kicked out and got our cabs home to the outter boroughs. I stumbleed in my door at Norman st. I somehow managed to get the key into the lock and walked to my partment door in a semi retarded drunken wobble. I had my hand out in front of me for balance. Swishing too and fro, having to pee and hungry as hell, and wanting to eat to settle my stomach, which I think was busy trying to churn the beer, whisky, and no doubt Jaeger Meister into butter.
I got into my apartment and made a bee-line for the kitchen where the first thing I saw was a box of Wheat Thins. I grabbed the box and held it in my arms like a lover coming back from the war. Cradling my precious delectible delight, I decided that I should satify my other urge and urinate A.S.A.P. . Not wanting to let go of my Wheat thins, I brought them with me to the bathroom. Killing two birds with one stone.
I got to the toilet and had to relieve myself sitting down. I had no interest in trying to aim. So I pulled my pants down to my ankles and sat my drunk ass down, still holding the Wheat things.As I was relieving myself, I finally remebered that I wanted to eat the crackers. I daintly opend the box and removed one cracker. Planning on inserting into my mouth for consumption, I pressed it into my cheek, missing my mouth completley and dropping it onto the floor. I looked for a moment and began trying to eat another, dropping cracker after cracker into my pants, around my toilet and getting one into my mouth now and again. When I did get one into my mouth it was a big chore to chew it. I was all dehydrated. Chewing looked something like Tom hanks eating the caviar in "Big" or like your childhood dog with a wad of peanut butter stuck to the top of his mouth. I got more cracker into my underpants than I did onto my tongue.I decided to take off my pants rather than to remove the crackers from them.
I then promptly slipped into bed with my wife. She was lucky I think now, looking back, to have such a sexy guy come home to her, smelling like booze.hahaha. I passed out and drifted off to dreamy land.
The next mornin, I woke up and Nic asked me if I had been eating in the bathroom. I said "I think so, why?". "Because your pants are in the bathroom, filled with Wheat Thins and the box is on it's side next to the toilet. Also, there is a three foot ring of crackers around the toilet. What time did you get home?"
So that's it. Well all made it to work on time the next day and went back out that night. We were on a post-traumatic tear. That was maybe my best, way-too-drunk night.
Now for a disclaimer- Lisa Thomas claims that she didn't have a drinking problem at this time. Mike, Craig, myself and John, along with Allison had major issues. She was only being social and coming along to make sure that we could all get cabs home and didn't get hurt. Thank you lisa and I apologize for the error.
Without further ado......Crackers in my undies
After 9/11 all of my friends and I went on a drinking and smoking binge the likes of which mankind had never seen before. All of us! Mike, Jo-Jo, Lisa, Allison, Craiggles,Azima, an I were out almost every night of the week. We rested on Sat and Sun. Well, at least from partying with each other, and that wasn't always true. Sometimes we met up on Sat.
We found a new bar on 7th street in the East Village, well, it wasn't new to the neighborhood. It was new to us. It was called the Blue&Gold. We went in because it had a pool table. Our first night there we stayed from after work until nearly 4 am. WE got Fuuuuuuuuuucked up. All of us. Shit-faced, Blotto like Otto, Three Sheets, F.U.B.A.R. !
Shots. Mixed drinks.Large amounts of beer. I think lisa fell asleep at the table. WEll, that could have been one of many times that we went out during that period. It all kind of blended together after a while. Sorta like my twenties when I was dating Mary Jane and drinking tea all the time.
At 4 we got kicked out and got our cabs home to the outter boroughs. I stumbleed in my door at Norman st. I somehow managed to get the key into the lock and walked to my partment door in a semi retarded drunken wobble. I had my hand out in front of me for balance. Swishing too and fro, having to pee and hungry as hell, and wanting to eat to settle my stomach, which I think was busy trying to churn the beer, whisky, and no doubt Jaeger Meister into butter.
I got into my apartment and made a bee-line for the kitchen where the first thing I saw was a box of Wheat Thins. I grabbed the box and held it in my arms like a lover coming back from the war. Cradling my precious delectible delight, I decided that I should satify my other urge and urinate A.S.A.P. . Not wanting to let go of my Wheat thins, I brought them with me to the bathroom. Killing two birds with one stone.
I got to the toilet and had to relieve myself sitting down. I had no interest in trying to aim. So I pulled my pants down to my ankles and sat my drunk ass down, still holding the Wheat things.As I was relieving myself, I finally remebered that I wanted to eat the crackers. I daintly opend the box and removed one cracker. Planning on inserting into my mouth for consumption, I pressed it into my cheek, missing my mouth completley and dropping it onto the floor. I looked for a moment and began trying to eat another, dropping cracker after cracker into my pants, around my toilet and getting one into my mouth now and again. When I did get one into my mouth it was a big chore to chew it. I was all dehydrated. Chewing looked something like Tom hanks eating the caviar in "Big" or like your childhood dog with a wad of peanut butter stuck to the top of his mouth. I got more cracker into my underpants than I did onto my tongue.I decided to take off my pants rather than to remove the crackers from them.
I then promptly slipped into bed with my wife. She was lucky I think now, looking back, to have such a sexy guy come home to her, smelling like booze.hahaha. I passed out and drifted off to dreamy land.
The next mornin, I woke up and Nic asked me if I had been eating in the bathroom. I said "I think so, why?". "Because your pants are in the bathroom, filled with Wheat Thins and the box is on it's side next to the toilet. Also, there is a three foot ring of crackers around the toilet. What time did you get home?"
So that's it. Well all made it to work on time the next day and went back out that night. We were on a post-traumatic tear. That was maybe my best, way-too-drunk night.
posted by TD at 6:10 PM
5 Comments:
And THAT was more than I ever wanted to know about someone who used to be my boss.
Sorry, supervisor. But still.
That's some funny stuff... a mental image I didn't particular want nor one I savor, but funny nevertheless.
Sorry Aryn. You chose to come to the blog. Good to see you here. I will try to edit myself in the future. hahaha. Well, probably not.
Thanks Mike
HAHAHAHAHA (breathe) HAHAHAHAHA! I love it! :) Thank you!
Wheat thins and easy cheese-my favorite-now that would have been a serious mess.
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