Stay on that medication and go to an island alone
So today was a great day! I am feeling really comfortable Raleigh. Today was fun and I am loving it here. I know it is a bit slow, but I'm feeling really positive. I jump at the chance to help a customer (they are far and few between (how's that for a difference Aryn? If you're reading! haha) and I like the fact that there is alot of time to fix things, which I love, and I was doing today. I also like that I need to wear jeans to work. Some of the customers today were a bit strange though.
This one guy walks in today. I am in the back of the book section and am hanging some artworks (they actually SHOW artwork in the store right now!) and he sees me and runs up to me and starts talking about nothing! He's about 40 years old and I notice that there is a very mild shake that he has going on, a crazy look in his eyes and he's rambling. He's got an arm full of product, which of course I think..."good, give me your money mutha fucka".I thought, oh shit, this guy is unstable.Naturally my Tae Kwon Do training kicks in and I am sizing him up and figuring how easy it would be for me to kick him in the thorax if he got out of line. The conversation went something like this.
Crazy- "I love books. Especially art books. I would spend all of my money on them. I am really into *insert some artist that you have never heard of*. Do you have ay books on him? I can't find them anywhere.
Me-"Um...I don't know. I haven't seen any. (and then in a tone that indicates that I deperately want out of this conversation) Well, you can look through this section and maybe you'll find something"
Crazy- "Yeah. I love them. I would spend all of my money on books. My mother keeps all of my money so I don't spend it all on books"
Me- (thinking "Oh shit...is he harmless?") "Oh yeah?"
Crazy-"My mom is an artist. She's much better than me. I used to do tag art. I never did it on walls. Just on canvas' with an airbrush. I like to do that. It's good.......My dad is a poet."
Me-(looking aound for any sales help) "Oh yeah?"
Crazy- Yup. But I am pretty good. I do alot of protraits. Mostly of Bonnie Raitt....
Me-(Thinking-"Oh, poor Bonnie, anyone with such a sultry, sexy voice, deserves more than a crazy stalker in Raleigh, NC")
C razy-"I am very good with portraits (flailing his arms about his torso) but I am not very good with bodies"
Me-"Oh yeah?" (looking around and notice the sales help laughing at me, but not coming to my rescue.....They will all be fired, the mother fuckers)
Crazy-"Yeah.I'm bi-polar...."
Me-(thinking, oh shit, I am going to have to kick him in the thorax? Is there enough room to do that in this section? How long would it take me?"
Crazy-"but I'm on medication and it helps. Do you like Ozzy?"
Me-(Thinking and smiling and clenching my fists "What the Fuck?!?")
Crazy- "I like Ozzy (note that he did not wait for my response) and Randy Rhodes"
Me-(thinking and smiling and nodding and hating my fucking staff..."I used to also"
Crazy-I like girls, and Bonnie Raiit. I used to date a girl that was on medication also.It didn't work out. Don't date girls on medication"
Me-(Thinking...Hahahahaha. Brother you are bizarre. You are so fucked up, but have made me laugh inside. Now get out)
Crazy....as he is walking away..."What's your name?"
Me-(thinking-Don't say Tom. He will be back! He will know your name! Tell him "Jim Bob McGillicutty" or "Buck Wild".... just don't say Tom!"
Me-"Tom"
Me-thinking-"ugh"
So what did we learn? Bonnie Raitt is beautiful and deserves a more calculating stalker and Crazy people say the damndest things......maybe we could get Bill Cosby to host that show. This guy should definately up his meds...they are not helping him much.
On another note, someone I care about very much is thinking of an Island Vacation alone. I actually think that it would be good for her. She has always talked about doing it and I think it's a fab idea. She needs it. After the year she has had she really deserves a big getaway, free her mind, get away from people and problems.I hope she does. She's a really special lady and deserves more than what she has gotten lately. While I think it is a bit weird to go to an island by yourself, Nicole baby, do it! Go! You have that and more coming to you! St Croix here you come!
So I went out tonight and had a few drinks in downtown. I found a cool bar and shot some pool with Eric from Fayetteville. Which made me laugh. "Ya'll (there it is again...I fucking giggle every time) ever heard of Fayetteville?" hahaha. Yes buddy I have. Are you happy now? "Sure" SO we shot some pool. I had a couple drinks and a shot and went home.Well....back to my hotel. So here I am , and here I blog. Hope all is well in your part of the world.
Hey, I don't know how many of you have a bible, as you are aware I am a very religious person, about on the level of Ben Stiller in "Meet the Parents" (or was that just lack of knowledge?) "Dear god. Sweet, sweet,sweet, sweet god...." but I am going to recomend that you all read the book of Job at least once in your life. I know. It sounds fucked up and hokey, but you all really should. I am in the bible belt now! Read it, it will fill you with A LOT (two words) of hope.
Any phone calls today would be appreciated I'll be around.
Love and kisses and semi-drunk wishes
Raleigh Tommy
This one guy walks in today. I am in the back of the book section and am hanging some artworks (they actually SHOW artwork in the store right now!) and he sees me and runs up to me and starts talking about nothing! He's about 40 years old and I notice that there is a very mild shake that he has going on, a crazy look in his eyes and he's rambling. He's got an arm full of product, which of course I think..."good, give me your money mutha fucka".I thought, oh shit, this guy is unstable.Naturally my Tae Kwon Do training kicks in and I am sizing him up and figuring how easy it would be for me to kick him in the thorax if he got out of line. The conversation went something like this.
Crazy- "I love books. Especially art books. I would spend all of my money on them. I am really into *insert some artist that you have never heard of*. Do you have ay books on him? I can't find them anywhere.
Me-"Um...I don't know. I haven't seen any. (and then in a tone that indicates that I deperately want out of this conversation) Well, you can look through this section and maybe you'll find something"
Crazy- "Yeah. I love them. I would spend all of my money on books. My mother keeps all of my money so I don't spend it all on books"
Me- (thinking "Oh shit...is he harmless?") "Oh yeah?"
Crazy-"My mom is an artist. She's much better than me. I used to do tag art. I never did it on walls. Just on canvas' with an airbrush. I like to do that. It's good.......My dad is a poet."
Me-(looking aound for any sales help) "Oh yeah?"
Crazy- Yup. But I am pretty good. I do alot of protraits. Mostly of Bonnie Raitt....
Me-(Thinking-"Oh, poor Bonnie, anyone with such a sultry, sexy voice, deserves more than a crazy stalker in Raleigh, NC")
C razy-"I am very good with portraits (flailing his arms about his torso) but I am not very good with bodies"
Me-"Oh yeah?" (looking around and notice the sales help laughing at me, but not coming to my rescue.....They will all be fired, the mother fuckers)
Crazy-"Yeah.I'm bi-polar...."
Me-(thinking, oh shit, I am going to have to kick him in the thorax? Is there enough room to do that in this section? How long would it take me?"
Crazy-"but I'm on medication and it helps. Do you like Ozzy?"
Me-(Thinking and smiling and clenching my fists "What the Fuck?!?")
Crazy- "I like Ozzy (note that he did not wait for my response) and Randy Rhodes"
Me-(thinking and smiling and nodding and hating my fucking staff..."I used to also"
Crazy-I like girls, and Bonnie Raiit. I used to date a girl that was on medication also.It didn't work out. Don't date girls on medication"
Me-(Thinking...Hahahahaha. Brother you are bizarre. You are so fucked up, but have made me laugh inside. Now get out)
Crazy....as he is walking away..."What's your name?"
Me-(thinking-Don't say Tom. He will be back! He will know your name! Tell him "Jim Bob McGillicutty" or "Buck Wild".... just don't say Tom!"
Me-"Tom"
Me-thinking-"ugh"
So what did we learn? Bonnie Raitt is beautiful and deserves a more calculating stalker and Crazy people say the damndest things......maybe we could get Bill Cosby to host that show. This guy should definately up his meds...they are not helping him much.
On another note, someone I care about very much is thinking of an Island Vacation alone. I actually think that it would be good for her. She has always talked about doing it and I think it's a fab idea. She needs it. After the year she has had she really deserves a big getaway, free her mind, get away from people and problems.I hope she does. She's a really special lady and deserves more than what she has gotten lately. While I think it is a bit weird to go to an island by yourself, Nicole baby, do it! Go! You have that and more coming to you! St Croix here you come!
So I went out tonight and had a few drinks in downtown. I found a cool bar and shot some pool with Eric from Fayetteville. Which made me laugh. "Ya'll (there it is again...I fucking giggle every time) ever heard of Fayetteville?" hahaha. Yes buddy I have. Are you happy now? "Sure" SO we shot some pool. I had a couple drinks and a shot and went home.Well....back to my hotel. So here I am , and here I blog. Hope all is well in your part of the world.
Hey, I don't know how many of you have a bible, as you are aware I am a very religious person, about on the level of Ben Stiller in "Meet the Parents" (or was that just lack of knowledge?) "Dear god. Sweet, sweet,sweet, sweet god...." but I am going to recomend that you all read the book of Job at least once in your life. I know. It sounds fucked up and hokey, but you all really should. I am in the bible belt now! Read it, it will fill you with A LOT (two words) of hope.
Any phone calls today would be appreciated I'll be around.
Love and kisses and semi-drunk wishes
Raleigh Tommy
posted by TD at 10:33 PM
4 Comments:
Dude - Bi-polar people are good are in bed.
You reccommend we read the book of JOB??
Ummm you are scaring me-get out of the Bible Belt-please-while you can-run-run for your life!!
I'm reading. That's how the art supply store I worked at was, up in VT. If we had like, 3 people in the store at the same time we'd be thrilled. We had a crazy guy at Kate's the other day, security was following him around. He was harmless though, just loud. He actually referred to himself as "some old fart" in the course of conversation. Ha!
I think you should have kicked him in the thorax just out of principle. Or just to watch him fall down. And then you could have laughed at him, and been like, "Oh, dude...we DO have that book you were looking for! My bad!"
OH! I forgot to mention that Helena Bonham Carter came in last week! Take that, Raleigh!
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