The in Crowd

Bored, at home recovering from what was a VERY wonderful weekend, I decided to ego-search my name on Google images . Now, many of you may not be aware of this, but I share my first name with a famous record producer. Did a lot of Areha Franklins albums and what not.

So when typed in my name and the images came up, there were 19 pics ot the famous recoprd producer and one picture of another guy I share my name with. My dad. Weird. The only problem? They somehow managed to mistype his name into the article about him. Tom Crowd, community activist.

My favorite part of the article was the description

"With thick glasses and a vibrant mane of red hair, Dowd has an unmistakable presence."

His new glasses are much cooler. If you feel like checking it out, you can read the bio of Tom Crowd here. If the way they color him as a conspiracy theorist is true, then we must all assume that the Ancient Aliens, in league with the Mafia,the Illuminati (He does live near a masonic temple) and some deep cover rogue commando unit, made sure his name was spelled wrong in this small local paper so his message could not be heard. Fuckers!

I have to admit it's getting better

Well folks, it's been one year since I first stepped foot in NC. Had no idea I would actually make a life here. Funny how that works out.

I came down here a year ago with the intention of getting a free trip to NC and doing right by my mentor. He asked me to interview and that was why I came. I tried as s I could to make this whole thing a no go.I figured that I would ask for the world and get rejected. Go back to my simple life.Live in the same town. Go out to the same places. Wrap myself in the security blanket of what I knew.

We all know how that worked out. Damn if my first days, and months here weren't some of the most difficult of my life.

Now though? I look back and KNOW that this was the best thing I have ever done for myself.

For some strange reason, my life has taken me to places I thought I would never be. Good things are happening at a frighteningly alarming rate. My mind is having a hard time keeping up with it all.

These last weeks have been the best period of good fortune that I have ever had! Go fucking figure. Now, I just need to get used to the idea of being happy. That is actually difficult for me. How strange is that?

I wanted more and I got it. Now what do I do?

One last note...I am a sucker for flattery and it will get you everywhere with me. For godsake, we are talking about me...the guy whose head is pasted onto The Creation of Adam just at the top of this page.Just a thought.

Peace out M-fers
More letters soon if you liked them.

Happy fucking weekend!

Yesterday was maybe the greatest day in the history of mankind. At very least it was surely top ten all time in the history of Tomkind. Good things do happen. I hope each and every one of you have a fantastic fucking weekend.

Right to the source

This is a copy of a letter I wrote to Island Records.Enjoy!


Dear Islander,
Get it? Islander? Hahaha. I just thought it might be a good way to break the ice with a joke. Figured I would get ya laughing!
So I don't know if Def Leppard had made this public knowledge withing the record company, but I invited them to play at my birthday party in October.
Problem is, I haven't yet heard back from them so it's becoming difficult to make the necessary plans.
For instance, I am at a loss for what kind of chips to get for them. Do they even know what a chip is!?!?!They probably think that it's French Fries, or Freedom Fries (are we still holding that grudge?), what they use in Fish and Chips. So you see my dilemma.
I am expecting AT LEAST fifteen people at this party. That number could more than double if my friends from the north (that's right, the north. It's a long convoluted story full of broken hearts, lots of parties and a bar called Toad Hall. The Reader's Digest condensed books version is that I live in North Carolina now.) come down.
So hear's what I was hoping. Could you please forward this to Def Leppard so we can start making plans?
I need to at least get a copy of their tour rider so I can make sure we take care of any Van-Halen-wanting-no-green-M&M's-in -the-dressing-room like requests. For instance, I could probably recruit my friends Doug and Lynch to shuck oysters for them if that was what they wanted.
On the D.L., between you and me, I am starting to wonder about their commitment to my birthday party. I was scoping out your list of bands on Island Records, the best record label of all time, and saw some people who might be interested.
Imagine my suprise when I noticed that Bon Jovi was among your stable of artists! I'm thinking that they would be great at the party also. They are pretty good and I am thinking that most of my friends will be familiar with their material also. I would ask that they don't play "I'll be There for You", but that is by no means a deal breaker.
Any artist would do. I saw that Bob Marley and Elvis Costello are in your lineup. Eitehr one of them would be great!Jason loves Bob Marley's stuff and does a pretty mean rendition of "No Woman No Cry".
Just don't send The Rocket Summer. He looks a little too Clay Aiken-ish for my taste and I think he would freak people out. It's a party for godsake.
Please don't let Def Lepard know that we discussed this. I don't want to hurt their feelings. I think we all know the tragedy that band has seen. I think we can all agree that we don't want to cause them any more pain.

Love hurts baby.
Love....hurts.
Later Gator,

Later Gator,
Tom

A letter to that kicker for the Colts

Dear Mr. Vanderjagt,
Firstly, I want to congratulate you on being the most accurate kicker in NFL history. That is a great accomplishment that can never be taken away from you, unless of course you miss lots of kicks before you retire.

Secondly, I wanted to let you know that this is not a hate mail letter, like the many which I assume you have been receiving.

I hope you are not too down on yourself recently. Remember, a game is never lost on one play. If I were you, whenever you were asked about the game, I would say "Why don't you talk to Manning! He choked to!" This would engender a feeling of teamwork with your teamates!
Heck, if Jerome "The Bus" Bettis doesn't fumble the ball, you don't even have a shot at sending the game to overtime.

I think there are a few things to remember here. Your last name is not (thankfully) Norwood. That dude missed a chip shot to WIN the SuperBowl! Your gaff doesn't even come close. You guys didn't even sniff the Super Bowl.

I think the fact that your name is almost unpronounceable to most people will be in your favor.
Imagine, if you will, you, at a bar, not letting on who you are, and people start talking about all time great sports blunders. Norwood will come up, as will Buckner (Bill, first baseman for the Red Sox in 1986). You might even come up, but people will say "That kicker for the Colts" not your name, because they won't be able to pronounce it. Always look on the bright side my friend!

I would also ask you to consider the fact that you have actually done a great service to the world.
Really! Feel good about yourself! All this week, people are going to say, when things are bad, "Yeah, but it could be worse....I could be that kicker for the Colts". You're a hero when you look at it that way!
I took the liberty of reading your bio on Colts.com. I saw that you live in Canada, eh! Did you move this week, or have you been there for a while? Either way, I say, good for you! They are so concerned with Hockey up there that you are going to be waaaaay under the radar.
If all of that doesn't work, you could always change your name. I think Buddy Vanderjagt would be a dope name for a kicker. Or howabout "Boots" or "Footsie". Those are really more nicknames, but I think that using one of those would show a playful side which will no doubt help you slice through the boos at the RCA dome which you will no doubt recieve next year.

Will you still be on the team?

If you are still feeling bad in October, you should come to my birthday party. It looks like Def Leppard will be playing live.
Do you like Def Leppard? I always liked the joke "What has nine arms and sucks?" Haha! Get it?
Well, if you do like them, they will be playing. You are welcome to come on down. Maybe you guys will be playing in Charlotte at that time.
We're talking mid-October even though my birthday is at the beginning of the month. I am going to buy some chips, so the sooner you R.S.V.P. the better. If you like, for instance,Original Doritos, let me know and I will get them. I've long been a Cool Ranch man myself.

Would you please also send me a signed 8x10? If you could sign it "To my pal Tom" I would
appreciate it.

Later Buddy!
Tom

Choose the form of the DESTROYER!!!!!!!!

Answering a few questions

Yes everyone. I have been sending out the letters below. I have a few more in the works which will be posted in the coming days/weeks. I haven't had responses yet, but I am going to continue. Thanks for the props K, and thanks to the rest of you who have been checking this out. It's my fun little endeavour for 2006. The year of ridiculous. (say it, it rhymes)

If you like what you read leave me a comment, let me know what you think.

Later Y'all

When you make love, do you look in the mirror

Hey all. Looks like '06 is shaping up nice like for your favorite transplant. My place is going to be the spot to be in October for the jamiest jammy jam in Oakwood's history. Have a great weekend.

A letter to Def Leppard

Dear Leppardites,
Hello, my name is Tom (though some like to call me Tar Heel of the Year) and I live in North Carolina. I was compelled to write because of the holiday season that I had this year. It was a bit strange to tell the truth. This was the first holiday that I spent away from all friends and family in many years. I am sure right now you are reading this thinking "Man Tom. That sucks, but I hear ya bro!" (Do they use the term bro in England? It's pretty common here across the pond...it's short for brother). I am also rather positive that you also know that now matter where you are in the world, if you have the power of rock in your heart, you are never really alone!
Anyhow, I was sure that you would like to know that my friend Erich gave me a copy of your magnum opus, Hysteria, for Christmas. I would be happy to provide you with her mailing address if you would like to thank her personally. This letter is not about her though, it's about you and me. Actually I do have one question that still pertains to Hysteria. I have been wondering for years...Just what is a Satellite of love?
I noticed on your website that you will be playing the Raleigh NC area in October of this year. "What a coincidence" I thought (as you will no doubt be thinking in just a moment). My birthday also happens to be in October. I therefore and going to extend to you a truly fantastic opportunity, an olive branch as it were, to come to my apartment and play at my birthday party. I figure that timing is of the essence, so I will gladly push back my birthday party (My birthday is Oct. 2nd) till mid month when you are in North Carolina. You guys are welcome to crash at my place, as long as you don't go "Rock Star!" in my apartment. Haha. Just kidding. I am a big enough fan to know that Def Lep is high on life and not destruction. If I recall correctly, you are all very big "Football" fans, though we could not play this in my apartment, we could probably arrange for a pick up game at a local park. If worst comes to worst we could just watch some on TV. We're not big on what we call soccer here in the colonies, but we have enough other sports to keep us occupied. My buddy Jason likes golf. I don't really understand why, but I don't hold it against him at all. I can't play that game, it frustrates me. I figure that is not a problem. I just don't play...except for the occasional round of miniature golf. Which is to golf what an E.P. is to an album. Did you guys ever record an E.P. ? I don't recall. I think they are kind of a cop-out. Def Leppard would never cop-out. If I am mistaken and you did record one, I apologize if you were offended. I'm sure your E.P. was Gunter, glieben, glauchen, globen, great!
About the party though, I am figuring that logistically, of course, we would have to set you up in the middle of my living room. I almost didn't write this letter when I thought of that. Thank god that "Pour some Sugar on Me" video was on MTV seemingly every other second in 1987 and 88. I remembered "This is Def Lep!" you guys played in the round! Man would this be so old school! It might be fun if we all dressed up old school style too! Whatdya think? Joe Elliot, who is waaaaay boss for having two first names, could wear those old ripped jeans of his. I think I have an old rock t-shirt to wear, I still have a G-n-R tee from back in the day. I could wear that or, if you would prefer, I would wear a Def Leppard shirt. You'd have to send me one though seeing as how I don't have one right now. I don't want you to think, even for a moment, that I won't show solidarity in the metal with you Did I mention that the News and Observer, a local newspaper much like the London Times, is about to announce me as their Tar Heel of the Year 2006?. So...WE BOTH WIN!.I will have you playing an intimate show at my birthday party and you will get to say that you have played for the Tar Heel of the Year. T.H.O.T.Y. is a very prestigious title here. I think they give you a prize. We're still ironing out the details of when I will accept this award. I'll keep you posted of course.
So check it, I need to go to my friend Keri's birthday party. Let me know if you guys are going to need to crash at my place after the party. Whew! My head is spinning just thinking about all of the planning we have to do! I'm going to have to buy some chips and soda. What kind of soda do you like? If you get a chance, send me a picture. I'll put it on my wall.

Yours in Rock,
Tom
T.H.O.T.Y.

Three thousand!

I logged on to my site and scrolled down to the bottom and saw that I was the three thousandth and first person to view my blog. I was a bit happy that I am not the only one who has been looking (it would have made 3001 much harder to attain), I am even happier that I was not number 3000. It would have been too much like the door prizes at the Boy Scout Flea market back when I was a kid. All of the scouts families would invariably win the door prizes after having spent the day stuffing their raffle tickets into the supper secret brown paper bags...no independent auditor there. Dave, Kel, Niel and Mike would remember that.

Point is, I would have been disappointed if I had been the 3000th customer here. I checked the sitemeter and it seems that my three thousandth visitor was in Knoxville, Tennessee. I am not even sure where Knoxville is. Much less, who I would know there. I implore you o' mighty Knoxvilladite, reveal yourself. I would like to present you with a fantastic WellinDowd NO PRIZE! Click on comments and tell me who you are.

More letters are forthcoming (I have been busy writing, but too busy earning a living to post and enjoying the hell out of my job...how the hell did that happen?!?). Stay tuned. Jenn...I will let you know about the T-shirts and where you can write to for my Tar Heel of the Year campaign.

In the meantime, check out this link to a site about your hero and mine,

Chuck Norris

Tom Dowd...Tar Heel of the Year

Hello all. Here is a letter I wrote to the News and Obeserver, Raleigh's local paper.They announce a Tar Heel of the Year every year. I decided that this year it will be me. Enjoy!

A Letter to the News and Obeserver

To Whom it May concern,
Hello. Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Tom Dowd, former New Yorker, Manager of a store,
loyal friend, joy spreader, proud fish tank owner, and your next Tar Heel Of the Year...that's right, Tar Heel of
the Year.
I was reading your paper a few weeks ago, which is something I rarely do, not because I have found anything
disagreeable about your fine tabloid, but more because I don't have time to read the newspaper, except on
Sundays once in a while when I go to brunch with my friends at Humble Pie. If you have not been to Humble Pie,
I do recommend a visit (this can certainly happen before the presentation of my Tar Heel of the Year award)
they have a wonderful brunch. I highly endorse the Shrimp and Grits. They refer to it on the menu as
"The Broth of the Gods", which to me says "Gotta eat this". Good stuff! Back in NYC I was able to read the
paper on the way to work on the cattle car (affectionately known as the NYC subway
system). Having become the responsible Tar Heel I have, I no longer read the paper on the way to work. After
one close call during my first week here, I decided that I should watch the road each and every time I get behind
the wheel of a car. As much as I love reading the morning news (yours, if I am not violating the laws of proper
decorom in saying so, being one of the finest excercises in print journalism in this great country of ours), I believe you would agree with me when I say
that one should not read the paper while driving. I care for the safety of all Tar Heels! Go Pack! Let's not forget
and UNC, and Duke. We Tar Heels of the Year shouldn't show favoritism. It's Just that my friend Doug
will be upset when he reads this letter in the paper if I had written "Go UNC!" first. He is a big fan of the Pack.
In fact,he was very upset with me a few weeks ago when I showed I was impressed with some of Alabama's play during a
game.I want you to know ahead of time that I would like to see all North Carolina schools excel. To "represent" as it were,
as spoken in the language of the people.I have even sat next to Herb Sendick on a flight to Philadelphia. (I was
going to a friends wedding. Don't worry though.I am
sure that Herb was going on a recruiting trip, not interveiwing for the Temple job. Though I couldn't blame
Temple for interviewing such a fine example of pasty-pale coaching accumen. Have you seen some of the stuff
in the papers that their coach has done?!? (Only joking! Of course you have! YOU ARE the paper!(wink-wink)

I digress however. I find that I do enjoy reading your paper whenever I have the chance. I grew up in NYC
where we had the NY Post. You want to talk about crap! That was a ridiculous paper. Rich Cimini's column
about the NY Jets was okay though. I am sure that if you needed a new sports writer that Mr. Cimini would
consider a change right now. Can you imagine how unbearable that poor guy's year was? Ugh! Possibly once
I am Tar Heel of the Year, we can work together to save some of the Jets beat writers. Of course, in my time
has Tar Heel of the Year, I would certainly be willing to broaden my world view. There are plenty of terrible NFL
teams out there who have beat writer's who I am sure are that much better than Mr. Cimini.
I apologize for being all over the place here. As you can see, I am very enthusiatic about being T.H.O.T.Y.
(in fact, I might be willing to change my name from Tom, to Thoty, when I am awarded this prestigious title.
I think that would certainly illustrate my dedication and inspire others to action! Hopefully, they would not be
inspired to change their names to Thoty, as that would defeat the purpose. Were this the case, I would be apt
to change my name back to Tom, or if you think it's a good idea, I could then change it to No-thoty (Get it?!?
N(ews &)O(bserver)thoty! I'm not sold on that one. For some reason No-thoty, sounds a little too "street" for
me. What do you think?)This is well down the road I am sure. I wouldn't expect anyone to be compelled
to change their name to Thoty until after we make the announcement about my reign.
I was very impressed with the story on Martin Eakes. He seems a fine gentleman and will, no doubt,
be a fine former T.H.O.T.Y. I look forward to working with him in harmony. To your knowledge, do the
former Tar Heel of The Year's work together on projects? Much the way that the former living presidents
sometimes do? We can certainly plan for some "presidential" like photo ops. You know which ones I mean when you
would see Clinton, Bush, Carter, and Ford all together smiling. I always felt it a shame that Reagan could never
partake in these pictures. At first I thought it was because the former Presidents were mostly Democrats, or
that it was because Reagan tried to have Ketchup declared a vegetable for school lunches. Turns out , that was
not the case (the partisanship or the veggie faux-pas) .
In conclusion, I look foward to working with yourself and your crack reporting staff as T.H.O.T.Y. 2006.
Like Ebony and Ivory, I am sure we will work together in perfect harmony. (I do not play the piano. I have a
freind that attended the Peabody institute in MD. though.)I'm sure this endevour will be a rewarding one for both
of us.
Please let me know when and where I should come pick up my award. I will Yahoo me
up some directions to get there. It would also be helpful if we could schedule the pick up for a Sunday or a
Monday. These are the days that will be easiest for me. Or course I can shift my shcedule as needed. We
"Heels" need to work together!

Sincerely,
Your Next Tar Heel of the YEar,
XOXO (hugs and kisses, in a respectful, platonic, freindly manner)

Tom

P.S. Please do not print my full name and email address in the paper in your excitement of finding
your next T.H.O.T.Y. I would prefer to stay a bit anonymous until we hold our press conference.